By Carl Hiaasen
Bestselling writer Carl Hiaasen properly surrender golf in 1973. yet a few pursuits refuse to die, and because the years handed and the thoughts of slices and hooks light, it dawned on Carl that there should be something in lifestyles he might do higher in heart age than he may perhaps as a adolescence. So progressively he ventured again to the rolling, problematic eco-friendly hills of the golfing path, the place he ultimately—and foolishly—agreed to compete in a country-club event opposed to gamers who can really hit the ball. choked with harrowing divots, lethal doglegs, and excruciating sandtraps, The Downhill Lie is a hilarious chronicle of mis-adventure that may have you rolling with laughter.
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Extra resources for The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport
Eight. The low element is blowing the birdie putt. Day 436 at the first gap I park my force within the correct tough. There i locate my stance impeded by means of a powerful deposit of raccoon shit. I’m sure of its provenance simply because, not like the common golfer, i've got raised raccoons and wiped clean up after them. What’s the authentic ruling here—do i am getting a loose drop from animal droppings? possibly it relies on the species of critter—no reduction from rabbit pellets; club-lengths from a endure pile. I’m guessing that the problem seldom arises at Augusta. After a brief deliberation, I quickly disperse the coon doo with my 7-iron. I end the 9 at forty six, with a self-imposed asterisk. once i am getting domestic, I whip out the USGA ideas of golfing and fee the index for “Scat, mammal. ” The Downhill Lie not anything. Ditto for “feces,” “crap,” “guano” and “poop. ” even though, lower than the time period “loose impediments” are indexed stones, leaves, twigs, branches, worms, bugs and . . . dung! simply because Rule 23-1 it seems that states that “any free obstacle can be got rid of with out penalty,” chipping the raccoon shit used to be completely right and criminal. the truth that I’m so happy to have complied with this rules is alarming. Camp Ernie Iprobably wouldn’t have hand over golfing in 1973 if i may have snuck out of city and gotten my swing fastened. That’s what millions of suffering hackers do now. for approximately an analogous fee as a hemorrhoidectomy, you could spend a number of days at a golfing tuition operated by means of a world-famous teacher. golfing teachers turn into world-famous via training professionals who win significant tournaments and are variety adequate to say them via identify on community tv. That’s what occurred to a fortunate fellow named David Leadbetter. In 1985 he all started operating with a promising younger English participant named Nick Faldo. years later, whilst Faldo received the British Open at Muirfield, he glowingly praised Leadbetter for turning his online game round. Faldo went directly to take 5 extra majors, and Leadbetter went directly to develop into a franchise. during the last 20 years he’s performed for yuppie golfing guide what Hooters did for chook wings. one hundred twenty five Partnered with the activities superagency IMG, Leadbetter now has twenty-six “academies” positioned all over the world, together with South Korea, Austria, Portugal, Japan and Malaysia. between a number of stateside Leadbetter camps is one in Braden-ton, Florida, that gives live-in quarters for junior golfers who break up their days among perform and teachers. From throughout a fairway, Leadbetter in his banded straw hat should be fallacious for Greg Norman, considered one of his luminary ex-students. and prefer Norman, Leadbetter has crafted an empire from a golf personality; his likeness is stamped on shirts, visors, balls, swing education units, cocktail coasters, headcovers and, competently, cash clips. The high-end demographic of Leadbetter’s consumers is obvious from his brand-name institutions with Callaway, Rolex, Cadillac, Jos. A. financial institution clothing and Sentient, a corporate-jet-leasing enterprise. He additionally writes golfing books, pens a column for golfing Digest and looks frequently in a celebrity capability at the golfing Channel.